Seeing the Person, Not the Problem

By Yvonne A. Singleton, Specialist Occupational Therapist

Today I met a woman who, on paper, had been referred for “severe hoarding.”Her home was full, every surface layered with belongings, every corner holding memories. The social worker who sent the referral was understandably worried about safety. But the moment I stepped inside, I saw more than clutter. I saw grief.

Her partner had died only weeks ago.In the shock and tenderness of loss, she had gathered his belongings into her home , his clothes, tools, books, and keepsakes, not out of neglect, but out of love.Her children were grieving too. None of them were ready to see his things moved, sorted, or labelled. These were not “possessions”; they were pieces of a person they weren’t ready to let go of.

The Pause Before Action

We could have begun categorising, clearing, or risk-managing. But that would have missed the point.This was not the time for intervention; it was a moment for compassion. So we paused. We listened.

We acknowledged her pain, her memories, her confusion. We spoke about what felt hardest and what gave her comfort.And we agreed, together, that for now, our role was to hold space, not to take it away.

We’ll continue to visit gently over time, not with bin bags or lists, but with presence and trust. Healing, like decluttering, cannot be forced. It needs safety first.

Seeing Beyond the Environment

Where the social worker saw the environment, we saw the person.The hoarded home was not the story, it was the setting.Her story was one of love, loss, and the human need to stay connected to what matters.

As occupational therapists, we often enter homes that appear chaotic, but within them are lives filled with meaning. Our work is to bridge that gap, between concern and compassion, between safety and dignity.

Sometimes the most therapeutic act is simply not to act, but to bear witness and begin a relationship built on trust.

Reflection

Hoarding often emerges where love, fear, memory, and identity collide.If we rush to fix, we silence the story.But when we listen, really listen, we create the conditions where transformation can eventually take root.

“Healing begins not with clearing space, but with being seen within it.”

#HoardingDisorder #OccupationalTherapy #Grief #TraumaInformedPractice #TreeOfTransformation #TherapeuticRelationship